Tres veces promiscua: mulata, bisexual y caribeña

Según la Real Academia Española Colonial de la Lengua, institución con el poder de definir, promiscua significa mezcla confusa. Sin embargo, tienes que admitir que al escuchar esta palabra tan morbosa, no puedes evitar pensar en excesos. Promiscua, popularmente, es igual a exceso. Soy una mujer cis, amulatada, bisexual y caribeña. Triplemente estigmatizada por la ambigüedad y la impureza.
Confesión de una artista negra-caribeña-migrante

Qué dolor es ser promiscua. Es la eterna herida del limbo. Un purgatorio entre un supuesto cielo-blanco-heterosexual y el infierno-negro-homosexual.  Extremos binarios del bien y el mal injustamente definidos por el eurocentrismo. Para quien no vive esta realidad en sus carnes, este peligroso abismo sugiere que las fronteras de mi piel y mi deseo son zonas de tránsito, nunca de llegada. Pero no es así.  

Según la Real Academia Española Colonial de la Lengua, institución con el poder de definir, promiscua significa mezcla confusa. Sin embargo, tienes que admitir que al escuchar esta palabra tan morbosa, no puedes evitar pensar en excesos. Promiscua, popularmente, es igual a exceso. Soy una mujer cis, amulatada, bisexual y caribeña. Triplemente estigmatizada por la ambigüedad y la impureza.

Según la Real Academia Española Colonial de la Lengua, institución con el poder de definir, promiscua significa mezcla confusa. Sin embargo, tienes que admitir que al escuchar esta palabra tan morbosa, no puedes evitar pensar en excesos. Promiscua, popularmente, es igual a exceso. Soy una mujer cis, amulatada, bisexual y caribeña. Triplemente estigmatizada por la ambigüedad y la impureza.

¿Qué relación tienen las definiciones del poder institucional y las hegemónicas de las sociedades occidentales? Lo desconcertante aquí es que las concepciones de lo ambiguo y excesivo se entrelazan brutalmente. Promiscua excesiva y ambigua por ser en carne esa mística sensualizada ni negra ni blanca. Promiscua excesiva y ambigua por haber nacido en el paraíso moderno del Caribe, anexo caliente del país de América Latina. Promiscua excesiva y ambigua por tener la engañosa ventaja de gustarme sexualmente todo. Triplemente demasiado de esto y pero siempre no suficiente de aquello.

A la mujer cis blanca bisexual se le presupone incapaz de fidelidad católica-matrimonial, como si el hecho de que no ser monosexista como los heterosexuales y lesbianas diluyera la intensidad o la sinceridad del amor y sexo que puede dar. De la misma forma, a las personas caribeñas se les percibe las anfitrionas de un falso paraíso terrenal cristalizado en el mito exótico de piratas, sirenas y tesoros. En otras palabras, las promiscuas del patio vacacional del norte global. Igualmente, la mujer afrodescendiente (amulatada, porque ella no eligió ser vista como descendiente impura de una un caballo y un burro) es vista siempre como un cuerpo exótico y sexual abismal. Como si ese abismo encarnara lo mejor de las dos razas: virgen pura y blanca y puta vampira negra (como una vez dijo bell hooks sobre la mirada hipersexualizante del mestizaje).

Las comunidades de esto, y las comunidades de lo otro, me sacan siempre esa navaja de privilegio de doble filo. Por un lado, algunas gentes de la comunidad LGBTTTIQ+, o el imaginario blanco de ella, señalan mi exceso de poder esconder mi orientación sexual emparejandome con un hombre cis. Mientras muchas gentes de la comunidad latina, o el imaginario blanco de ella, nos despojan de los saberes negro-originarios ancestrales en nombre del mito de la democracia racial y ocultamiento de las relaciones de poder. Por otro lado, algunas gentes de la comunidad negra, o el imaginario negro escencial de ella, señalan que las amulatadas somos las privilegiadas de ser consideradas a salvar la raza. Es curioso cómo las identidades raciales, territoriales del sur global, orientaciones sexuales, marginadas pero de profunda resistencia nos cuestionan nuestra existencia.

¿Qué haces con un triple abismo como este? ¿Qué haces con esa triple profundidad peligrosa del mestizaje, la bisexualidad y la etnicidad periférica isleña?  Alguna vez has tenido ese sueño que se repite, de que te caes por un barranco y vuelves a caer una y otra vez hasta que despiertas? Pues algo así se siente, pero constante como si estuvieras en estado de coma. Estas tres identidades son vistas como transitorias, como etapas hacia algo más definido, más lógico y coherente. Pero ¿qué pasa cuando no hay un destino fijo, cuando el viaje mismo es el hogar? Pues hay poder en el estar entre rígidos mundos. Nos permite ver cosas otras desde los márgenes. En esa supuesta promiscuidad de ambivalencia reside una subjetividad incomprendida. Un tejido de experiencias, deseos y sueños crean esta carne promiscua. Somos el eterno puente.

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